This blog post was originally posted on Feb 12, 2016.

This month I experienced my first case of feeling used for my success.

It’s a topic widely discussed by successful people – entrepreneurs, actors, musicians, the list goes on – that they often can’t tell who their real friends are because they wonder if those around them are influenced by their outward appearance of money, success, happiness, {insert chosen subjective word here}.

Pickford Media was registered as a business in July last year, and began in earnest with my business partner about three or four months ago.

It feels like forever, but I actually just laughed out loud at the things we achieved in such a short space of time. Abramo is often still working at his day job, so we’re not exactly living like royalty off the business! But we’ve kicked some massive goals and have a lot to be proud of.

In terms of business success, we know we’re still infants. (Albeit infants with huge goals and ideas for our business and the businesses we work with.)

Despite our relative infancy, in the last week our Facebook page kicked up its reach a bit, and I felt the negative repercussions from someone I once held extremely dearly.

So we must be doing something right. Right?

I think you know you’re on the right track when people start trying to put you in a box and shut the lid.

I don’t want to go into details – I gave myself a day to grieve the loss of a friend who had once been a shining light in my weeks, but I refuse to let it take over what is an amazing week.

Because it has been!

This week I’ve connected with some old friends, been consistent with getting things done on my to do list, had a contract signed for a big project, had positive responses to a series of reach outs, and improved on our newsletter list and social media following.

I’ve been on a middle-of-the-night adventure to take photos, created a scrapbook, watched trashy rom-coms, been out for dinner (twice – which seems small but feels huge for this homebody), started working on two new ideas to expand the business and washed a mammoth pile of laundry.

There is so much to celebrate; victories big and small.

So much more to contemplate than another person’s insecurities.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself in the last few years.

I’ve taken a trip to Europe on my own, finished my degree, broken up with a great love, experienced a profound loss, started and quit studying again, been fired from a long term job.

There’s been intense personal and business growth.

I’ve learnt about myself and my mental health in ways I never thought that I would be able to. I wish I could go back and tell my 16-year-old self about them.

I’ve learnt about the kinds of situations that aren’t good for me, and the ones I thrive in.

And I’ve challenged myself to mental health goals, rewarded myself when I’ve met them and been kinder to myself when I haven’t. I’ve actually listened when people have congratulated my successes.

I still have bad days.

I struggle with answering the phone, and sometimes responding to messages. There are days when I just can’t face another thankless day of working my butt off. Sometimes all I can think is,

‘Why am I doing this?! I should just get a job like everyone else!’

But then I write a post like this and I’m reminded of all the good days. How they far outweigh the bad.

Self-reflection is an incredibly important tool in growing and learning that I need to do far more regularly.

I’ve learnt that I’m a work in progress, and that perfection is unattainable.

And I’ve learnt that I’m okay with that.

 

 


 

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